Be Yourself

/ Steve Lakey / 2 Comments

 

Now, more than ever, we seem to be bombarded with ways to ‘improve’ ourselves. The Self-help sections of book shops are full to overflowing with the latest advice on what we’ve been doing wrong, and absolutely foolproof ways to put it all right. You know the sort of thing:

‘Spirituality in 3 Easy Steps’

‘5 minutes a day to Self-Enlightenment’

‘The Only Self-Help Book You’ll Ever Need – Volume VII’

It’s not that we can’t benefit from being healthier in Mind, Body and Spirit. Of course we can. And sharing positive thoughts and actions is all to the good.

But are we to believe that someone else always has the best answers to our problems? And doesn’t that mean there has to be something very wrong with us in the first place?

I’ve been there, trying to soak up the knowledge. I’ve got a whole library of books and audios to prove it. They provided short-term inspiration, but never quite gave me the full picture.

And yet I know the one constant here is me. I’m having the life experience. So why don’t I look to myself for the answers? The phrase ‘Go Within’ can sound like a cliché, but deep down I know it makes sense.

Whether you choose to see it as connecting with your subconscious mind, Higher Self or just pure intuition, I believe we can find the answers internally. Meditation, quiet moments of reflection, or maybe a spark of inspiration while in the shower, can help us reconnect with our innate wisdom. Sometimes, we can just feel a ‘nudge’ in a certain direction.

We don’t have to be someone else’s idea of a better person. Learning to accept ourselves for who we are is a good starting point. We’re not broken, we’re just unique. There’s no one quite like us in the 7.6 billion humans we share the planet with.

From a place of self-acceptance, we can move forward positively in ways that feel more natural to us. We haven’t got to change, we can get to change at our own pace, guided by our inner feelings.

There’s no reason for us to stop using external learning, but we don’t have to rely on it as our only hope of finding a solution.

And just be yourself. No one does it quite as well as you.

 

Kinda Nice!

/ Steve Lakey / 5 Comments

 

In Dr David Hamilton’s blog post, ‘Born to be Kind’, he explains how we have been conditioned to show kindness through our heredity. No wonder being kind makes us feel better – it’s part of our genetic makeup. 

Our bodies have evolved to produce a hormone called oxytocin. Oxytocin is sometimes referred to as the ‘cuddle chemical’ or the ‘hug hormone’, with good reason. It helps us to emotionally bond with each other.

We don’t just produce oxytocin when we’re being kind, but even when we’re thinking about being kind. So all those hours spent looking at cute animal videos on YouTube weren’t wasted after all!

Even small expressions of support between family members and friends will stimulate the release of oxytocin. As will quality time with your pets. Or someone else’s pets.

Not only do we get to feel better, which improves our mental health, but there are many physical benefits of oxytocin being released too. Love, trust and sincerity can prompt our inner healing process.

Oxytocin can increase the body’s healing rates and slow ageing rates. It can lower blood pressure and decrease intestinal inflammation. The list goes on.

So if you’re being kind to someone else, they benefit and so do you – it’s not just kinda nice, it’s kinda win-win! 

Can’t See the Wood for the Trees

/ Steve Lakey / 2 Comments

I always used to get stressed about leaving for work on time – because parking space is at a premium. In fact, if you’re not in there by 8.20am, you’re more likely to find a chilled-out T-Rex than an empty rectangular piece of car-sized tarmac.

So, I’m often left doing the ‘Car Park Shuffle’ – using short term parking, then moving on! We have several store car parks within walking distance of our building. The only problem is that they are limited to a maximum of two hours – some even less. And if you should accidentally go over your allotted time, you’re looking at a King’s Ransom in fines.

But if I can’t change the car parking situation, which, short of buying an Aldi store and levelling it, I can’t – there has to be another solution. I’ve had to look at things differently in an attempt to turn the negatives into positives.

There is a distant land where cars can stay, without fear of time limit or ticket. In the middle of a local park there are normally spaces to spare. But there is a downside – the long walk.

Realistically, the walk is less than 15 minutes each way. And now the British Spring has sprung, it’s a pleasant-enough hike on a tree-fringed tarmac path. And since I’m looking to increase my daily step count, it’s all good!  

And through the seasons, while walking through the park I’ve been inspired to use my phone and take a photo or two of something that catches my eye. Be it a beautiful winter wonderland, a spring flower bed in full bloom, or a travelling fair setting up.

Sometimes there’s hardly a person in sight, but often there are little kids zooming around on push scooters, being taken to school by their parents. Or small groups of dog walkers who stop to moan about the weather, just as the sun breaks through the dark clouds. 

A gardener occasionally chugs past on an industrial lawn mover like he’s in a Formula 1 Grand Prix race. A couple of the scooter kids give chase, leaving their parents trailing in their wake.

My route takes me past a big new-build house that I think looks perfect. I imagine myself living there, the owners having kindly moved out and handed me the keys. 

The gardener seems to be happily driving at half speed, now the kids have been drawn away by the urgent ringing of a distant school bell. 

And before I know, it I’m onto the road and outside my office building. Why did I ever think this option was a last resort? 

On some days, I find myself walking around the park in my lunch break, taking different routes, and soaking up the atmosphere.

So what was all the fuss about? Maybe I really couldn’t see the wood for the trees.  

Everyday Heroes

/ Steve Lakey / 10 Comments

Recently I watched a TV series which featured the work of the lifeboat crews that protect the coastline of the British Isles.   

The crews are almost entirely made up of volunteers. These men and women give up their free time and risk life and limb, to help people in danger.

Countless lives are saved every year through their actions. The crews are ordinary people choosing to do extraordinary things – true everyday heroes.

I doubt the average person has such an impact on someone else’s life, on a regular basis. I know I don’t. Sometimes, it feels like we can’t make a difference. There are so many bad things happening around the world. What is the point? 

But then you see a story about a 14 year old girl whose petition convinced a supermarket giant to stop selling eggs from caged hens. Changing the world, one step at a time.

Signing a petition means you can add your voice for causes that are close to your heart. Or maybe your next door neighbour would appreciate seeing a friendly face every now and then. So if we can’t change the world, maybe we can change our corner of the world. 

Charities and good causes are always looking for volunteers. It’s more rewarding than just giving a donation, but that can help too.

If you don’t have the time to get involved yourself, you could use your social media influence to get the message out to those that do. Doing something, however small, is better than doing nothing.

Maybe you could clear out your closet and donate those shoes you regret buying. Who knows, it may help to buy another lifeboat. And then you and everyone else involved can join the ranks of the everyday heroes too.

Nature Nurtures

/ Steve Lakey / 6 Comments

Photo by Steve Lakey

If you read my recent post, ‘Life Lessons From a Fitness Tracker’, you would know that I’ve recently become reacquainted with my Fitbit, after a long lay-off.

My stats are gradually improving, if not exactly hitting Olympian levels. But I’ve realised that my exercise doesn’t have to be extreme to be beneficial. Unlikely as you are to find me power walking past you at high speed, I’ve rediscovered another type of power walking – drawing on the power of Nature. 

This area of the country used to be scattered with coal mines and the railway tracks that served them. One of the few positives from the demise of the pits, is that a wealth of parks and trails have been landscaped in their place, to create an environmental legacy throughout the local countryside.

Just a short drive from my home, I can be walking on a secluded country trail. One minute, I’m strolling through a steep-sided cutting, hewn from its sandstone bed over century ago. And the next, I’m high on an embankment, looking down on a herd of sheep, through the canopy of trees. On occasion, a gap in the green affords me an unexpected glimpse of a farm. A few times, I walk under stone and ironwork bridges – relics of the industrial past.

On this May afternoon, I was joined by a chorus of happily chirping birds. Later, several horses cantered by. There were dog walkers aplenty, with their furry friends chasing around happily.

Everyone, humans and animals alike, seemed to have the time to say “Hello!” Even the speedy cyclists nodded their heads and gave a cheery thanks as I gave them room to pass. A sprightly senior dog walker told me that all this area was his playground when he was a kid. In the days when there were not only railways here, but steam trains using them.

But mostly, it was peaceful and I had myself for company. And whatever pace I was going, there was no denying the restorative power I drew from this walk.

Nature most certainly nurtures!