self-help

Design for Life

/ Steve Lakey / 6 Comments

Trees Photo: Sakura Trees by Petr Kratochvil

 

It’s been another hot summer’s day. Walking along a tree-lined pathway, it occurred to me that in nature, things effortlessly follow their own blueprint. I’m sure that trees don’t doubt their ability to grow tall and strong. A stalk of grass probably doesn’t compare itself to a neighbour.

Do we have our own “Design”? I think if we’re guided by our intuition, we know when something feels right. But we don’t have to follow it, and often Life gets in the way to drown out our inner voice.

We have the ability to rewrite our plans, over and over – which can be a blessing or a curse. Having the freedom to create our own life, means that if the doubts creep in, we can end up settling for less than our best. 

It’s an obvious statement, but Life is all about Creation. I used to believe that we have to take whatever Life throws at us. I now see that we actively co-create our experience together with Life. We are deeply involved in the process, every second of every day. Whether we’re aware of it or not.

Surely, we have a responsibility to ourselves to find what lights us up, and pursue it, to the extent that we can. Even if it remains a hobby, rather than a career. But more than that, if we lift ourselves up, we pass the benefits on to those around us, and subconsciously give them permission to do the same.

So, you know what to do… Find your talent. And shine your light.

A Quantum of Physics

/ Steve Lakey / 6 Comments

spatiul-cosmic

Photo: Space by Silviu Firulete

 

I don’t know about you, but Quantum Physics (or Quantum Mechanics) has a strange fascination for me. They say that particles can be in more than one place at a time. If something isn’t being observed, it can exist simultaneously in multiple locations. Does that mean, if I take my car into the garage and leave; quantum mechanics everywhere are waiting to observe it? And how much extra will that cost me? 🙂

There are multiple universes/realities where, literally, all sorts of possibilities are taking place. Also, you can’t observe something without changing it, basically to what you expect will happen. There’s no such thing as a passive observer! And Time isn’t linear, it’s horizontal. In effect, everything is happening NOW. That means you’re reading this at the same time I’m writing it! Oh, and thanks for all the ‘Likes’ and positive comments about this article. Now I’m pushing it! 😉

They say that everything exists in potential. When it is focused upon enough by an observer, it will form into matter. You are the observer, so everything you want already exists. You decide by your focus which of the potentials get to make it to your “reality”. So maybe the Law of Attraction should actually be called the Law of Filtration! Everything is there for us, but we filter into being, that which we expect to see – based on our own conditioning.

Reality is all about our own perception.

For instance, you’re not what you eat. You are what you feel about what you eat. You can’t be healthy if you don’t feel healthy on the inside – whatever your lifestyle.

So the message is, “Go Within”. The way to change our external circumstances is through internal transformation. Change the way we think and feel about ourselves, on a daily basis. We have to grow to become the thing we wish to receive. As Gandhi said, “You must be the change you want to see in the world.”

In case you’d like a better explanation about Quantum Physics from someone who’s an expert – try any of the ‘Dr Quantum’ books by Dr Fred Alan Wolf. The combination of his knowledge as a physicist, his spiritual insights and quirky sense of humour, make his books a must-read.

It’s the Thought That Counts

/ Steve Lakey / 3 Comments

idea Photo: Idea by George Hodan

“Change your mind – your thoughts, your emotions and beliefs – and you will change your life”. David R. Hamilton PhD

Having recently read ‘It’s the Thought That Counts’, by David Hamilton, not only does Positive Thinking work, but also there is a huge amount of scientific data to back it up – it’s not just wishful thinking. The key message I took from this book is that our thoughts have the power to change ourselves, other people, and the world around us. Either positively or negatively.

Our mind and emotions can influence the health and well-being of our body and even the structure of our DNA. The author uses his background as a scientist in the pharmaceutical industry to provide extensive medical evidence to back up his claims. But it is his own positive attitude and faith in human potential that really brings this book to life.

Many people are familiar with the Placebo Effect. Thinking that a course of treatment will make them better, is more likely to produce that outcome in a person, even with no active medication involved. But it goes further. The more a person believes in the whole process, the more positive the results tend to be. Receiving medication and reassurance from a convincing “man in a white coat” can lead to improved medical outcomes – if that fits with the patient’s view of professional medical care.

Studies have shown that even people affected by dementia can regain cognitive skills. By engaging with them in ways that stimulate brain activity, neural pathways can be created and strengthened – with tangible results. In simple terms, if people are treated as being “younger” than their age, they act “younger”. Having a positive outlook leads to positive changes.

The book also explores the idea that with our thoughts we can all connect with what renowned Psychologist Carl Jung termed the “Collective Unconscious” – a Universal source of knowledge.

David Hamilton isn’t suggesting that we ignore traditional medical treatments, but he believes that we should view the patient holistically, and promote positive thinking and lifestyle changes. The book is a fascinating read and gives a medical and scientific view on the power of Positive Thinking.

Positively Negative!

/ Steve Lakey / 4 Comments

old-camera Photo: Old Camera by George Hodan

If you’ve read the same books on “Positive Thinking” that I have, they make it sound so easy:

  1. Really focus on what you want.
  2. Sit back and let the Positivity flow.
  3. Live Happily Ever After! 

Or something along those lines. Is it working for you? No, me neither! Because we live in the real, physical world. And we need to act on our dreams, and move a little closer to them.

So, where to begin? If you feel that you’re not moving forward with your life, inspiration isn’t that easy to come by.  The good news is that motivation can come in one of two forms: positive – moving towards what you want, or negative – moving away from what you don’t want. And if ‘negative’ is closer to what you are feeling right now, that’s where to start. Tap into your negative feelings.

For instance, if you’re overweight and you don’t like the way it makes you feel, be honest about it to yourself. Say why you’d like to lose those pounds. I know we’re told to focus on the Positive, but if you’re not in that place, it’s easier said than done. So, begin the process from where you are. Later, once you’re motivated, you can switch to the positive, and focus on why you want to be healthy, rather than why you don’t like being overweight.

You may want to try this:

  1. Make a list of what isn’t working in your life.
  2. Look at each point on the list, and write down what you don’t like about it. And why you’d like to move away from it.
  3. Focus on the “energy” of the list, and notice how different it feels, compared to being unmotivated. Use the negative energy of dislike to motivate you.
  4. Pick an item on the list and look for a small action you can take in connection with that goal. Add that onto the list.
  5. If the small action seems too daunting, break it down into even smaller tasks.
  6. Once you’ve completed a mini-task – celebrate, bask in the warm glow of satisfaction, and then pick another.
  7. Keep adjusting the list, so you gradually replace negative “moving away from” goals with positive “moving towards” goals, and keep including those practical steps. Leave your successes on the list.
  8. Once your list becomes more positive, check it and make sure that ‘Smiling’ and ‘Having Fun’ are included somewhere!
  9. Relax. You’ve earned it.
  10. Don’t quit on your dreams. Ever.

 

Black and White Thinking?

/ Steve Lakey / 8 Comments

ying-yang-symbol

 

“If you can dream – and not make dreams your master; if you can think – and not make thoughts your aim; if you can meet with Triumph and Disaster and treat those two impostors just the same.”

“If” – Rudyard Kipling

 

I’ve always found this to be an intriguing section in Kipling’s wonderful poem, “If”. He seems to be suggesting that we should do more than just dream and think – we should put our plans into action. But why does he say we should treat triumph and disaster just the same?

To me, one answer can be found in the Chinese concept of Yin-Yang. It describes how apparently opposite forces are actually interconnected and naturally dependent on each other. Night/day, male/female, hot/cold are just a few examples – complementary parts of the same system. They each can’t exist without the other. Like two sides of a coin.

You can’t experience failure without the seeds of success being present. An apparent victory will carry the potential for defeat. Consequently, attaching yourself too much to any extreme is to miss the big picture. Many of the most successful figures in history suffered huge setbacks in life before their triumphs. Winston Churchill and Abraham Lincoln being two such examples.

Equally, being too attached to success may lead to arrogance, conceit and resting on your laurels. Churchill himself said “Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts.”

Success is not final because once we have achieved our goal, we naturally reach for the next. Failure is not fatal, because it often leads to new perspectives or opportunities that otherwise wouldn’t have been considered.

If we’re less attached to an outcome, which will only be temporary anyway, we can be more focused on our self-development during the process. In that way, we are always moving forward, always gaining experience.

It’s great to have inspiring dreams, but most aren’t achieved overnight, if at all. How often do we reach a goal, and after the initial glow has worn off, find ourselves strangely unimpressed? I think it’s the sense of challenge, and the little victories along the way, that ultimately give us satisfaction.

It’s often the journey, and not the destination, that is the real prize.