self-help

Be Yourself

/ Steve Lakey / 2 Comments

 

Now, more than ever, we seem to be bombarded with ways to ‘improve’ ourselves. The Self-help sections of book shops are full to overflowing with the latest advice on what we’ve been doing wrong, and absolutely foolproof ways to put it all right. You know the sort of thing:

‘Spirituality in 3 Easy Steps’

‘5 minutes a day to Self-Enlightenment’

‘The Only Self-Help Book You’ll Ever Need – Volume VII’

It’s not that we can’t benefit from being healthier in Mind, Body and Spirit. Of course we can. And sharing positive thoughts and actions is all to the good.

But are we to believe that someone else always has the best answers to our problems? And doesn’t that mean there has to be something very wrong with us in the first place?

I’ve been there, trying to soak up the knowledge. I’ve got a whole library of books and audios to prove it. They provided short-term inspiration, but never quite gave me the full picture.

And yet I know the one constant here is me. I’m having the life experience. So why don’t I look to myself for the answers? The phrase ‘Go Within’ can sound like a cliché, but deep down I know it makes sense.

Whether you choose to see it as connecting with your subconscious mind, Higher Self or just pure intuition, I believe we can find the answers internally. Meditation, quiet moments of reflection, or maybe a spark of inspiration while in the shower, can help us reconnect with our innate wisdom. Sometimes, we can just feel a ‘nudge’ in a certain direction.

We don’t have to be someone else’s idea of a better person. Learning to accept ourselves for who we are is a good starting point. We’re not broken, we’re just unique. There’s no one quite like us in the 7.6 billion humans we share the planet with.

From a place of self-acceptance, we can move forward positively in ways that feel more natural to us. We haven’t got to change, we can get to change at our own pace, guided by our inner feelings.

There’s no reason for us to stop using external learning, but we don’t have to rely on it as our only hope of finding a solution.

And just be yourself. No one does it quite as well as you.

 

Kinda Nice!

/ Steve Lakey / 5 Comments

 

In Dr David Hamilton’s blog post, ‘Born to be Kind’, he explains how we have been conditioned to show kindness through our heredity. No wonder being kind makes us feel better – it’s part of our genetic makeup. 

Our bodies have evolved to produce a hormone called oxytocin. Oxytocin is sometimes referred to as the ‘cuddle chemical’ or the ‘hug hormone’, with good reason. It helps us to emotionally bond with each other.

We don’t just produce oxytocin when we’re being kind, but even when we’re thinking about being kind. So all those hours spent looking at cute animal videos on YouTube weren’t wasted after all!

Even small expressions of support between family members and friends will stimulate the release of oxytocin. As will quality time with your pets. Or someone else’s pets.

Not only do we get to feel better, which improves our mental health, but there are many physical benefits of oxytocin being released too. Love, trust and sincerity can prompt our inner healing process.

Oxytocin can increase the body’s healing rates and slow ageing rates. It can lower blood pressure and decrease intestinal inflammation. The list goes on.

So if you’re being kind to someone else, they benefit and so do you – it’s not just kinda nice, it’s kinda win-win! 

Leaving Homepage!

/ Steve Lakey / 2 Comments

Anyone that’s moved home will tell you that it can be a stressful experience. But moving homepage has definitely removed a whole lot of negativity from my life!

My morning routine for several years now has been to look at the BBC News website and watch their breakfast programme over my cereals. When I click to open my Safari browser, the first thing I see is a selection of the day’s news:

Our Prime Minister said this!

Their President tweeted that!

The Economy is about to do this! 

And of course, all the news and information is carefully screened and monitored to be inspiring, uplifting and positively the brightest way to start your day – Not!

It isn’t that the BBC is any worse than any other news organisation. But it can’t be coincidence that most of what we are shown is seriously negative. Is this really what we want?

Every disaster, natural or man-made, is systematically beamed from around the globe and presented in a condensed format that can be repeated at regular intervals, just in case we missed it fifteen minutes earlier. Perhaps we should be grateful that the misery is generally restricted to our planet. Presumably, in the future we’ll be shown the destruction of distant galaxies, holographically Live-streamed from the Delta Quadrant! 

So, I’m choosing to remain in blissful ignorance of Life’s misery. I’m sure if something is important enough, it will filter its way to me eventually.

My morning routine now consists of a slightly more healthy breakfast, with a reassuringly relaxing, yet superbly stimulating side-order of positivity.

My replacement homepage is WordPress. I now study positive posts on my Reader while listening to relaxing ambient background music. And when work beckons, I head for the shower with more of a spring in my step.

That feels like good news to me.

Life Lessons From a Fitness Tracker

/ Steve Lakey / 10 Comments

On my previous post, ‘Want Success? Aim Lower!’, I wrote about how I re-engaged with my sadly forgotten fitness tracker, and by lowering my targets, I managed to succeed. I can happily report that my progress, for the most part, has continued. And if I have the odd bad day, I accept it and put my best foot forward.

I have since rediscovered the world of tracker stats. Delving into the accompanying app, there is a goldmine of health-related stats to pan out, should I get the urge. I looked at my sleep patterns (probably not getting enough), resting heart rate (dropped to respectable levels) and even started recording my water intake (increased due to buying a fruit-infuser water bottle).

And as a tracker is made for tracking, it’s great for looking at trends and patterns in your fitness journey.

But it also has another benefit. Whether you use the app or not, the  tracker helps you stay in the moment. Or at least to take one day at a time.

I’ve had good days when I’ve blown my targets out of the water. And bad ones where I’ve sunk without trace. But come midnight, everything resets to Zero. Without fail.

Every morning I wake up to a tracker empty of steps, but full of possibilities. How it plays out is down to me – I have to take responsibility for my own actions. Do I take a step in the right direction, or a turn for the worse?

And tomorrow, it all starts again – my results are washed clean. I’m up and walking. Today was the best day ever? Great, but soon those numbers will disappear. Yesterday was a washout? No matter, today can be better. I’m free to choose. 

That’s not a bad prompt to get every morning. So many positives from such a small device.

Want Success? Aim Lower!

/ Steve Lakey / 6 Comments

If you keep consistently missing the target, don’t aim higher – give yourself an easier target to aim at! You know it makes sense. How often do we set unrealistic goals – then punish ourselves for falling short? I know I do.

Take my Fitbit for example (other fitness trackers are available). When I first bought my shiny new exercise tracker, I was super keen to make it work for me. I even went for long walks in my lunch break to increase my daily step count. Once I got home, I was literally walking around the room to make sure I made my daily quota. It was 10000 steps or bust.

Why 10000? Well I thought it was some sort of medical recommendation to improve fitness. It turns out to have been a marketing campaign for an older version of a step counter, way back in the 1960’s.

Anyway, back to my efforts. Things went great for a month or two. It may have been less, but my memory is a touch hazy. Then gradually I started not trying so hard to reach my goals. And then the Fitbit seemed to be irritating my wrist, so I was wearing it less and less. And if you’re not going to achieve the target, there’s no point wearing it, right?

But as I started a healthy eating plan recently (it’s not a diet, definitely not a diet) I thought that would be a good time to charge up my Fitbit. It was at the time totally depleted of energy – not unlike myself.

But lo and behold, I still wasn’t hitting the magic steps barrier. And the trouble is, if I wasn’t close by the evening, there was no point to increasing my steps. I figured, if I’m going to miss my target, I might as well do it by a mile. Or several.

But then a thought hit me. Why not lower my target? 8000 daily steps seemed more doable. First, I had to overcome the ‘shame’ of lowering my target. But I gave it a go anyway. And you know what, it worked!

On day 1, I was walking around the room again to get my steps up. By Day 2, I’d reached my goal without even thinking about it. Ironically, it was on my way back from picking up a fish and chips takeaway meal. The Healthy Eating Plan was taking a slight hit. But, one goal at a time, eh!

So, the moral of the story is, if you’re not reaching your target, make it more realistic (that’s ‘lower it’ to you and me). How good does it feel to reach a goal, no matter that it’s smaller? It certainly helps to keep that ‘Attitude of Gratitude’ on track.

Happy stepping!