More of My Twitter Fiction


Mac Mouse

© 2014 Steve Lakey


  • All the feedback from our house viewings is consistent. Nobody sees “Here be Dragons” as a positive feature. Too much a fire risk!
  • Ignoring the rising tide of Global Warmers, he kept his head deep in the sand.
  • Is reincarnation the ultimate makeover? Or is it a Make-over by the Ultimate?
  • He wore purple laces at the club, and was always first on the dance floor. But he just couldn’t find the nerve to ask her out.
  • Jim sifted through the divorce papers in the hope of finding a mistake. After a fruitless search, he sadly put pen to paper.
  • All Jim’s siblings dutifully came to his viewing. Which was more than they had done while he was still alive.
  • Fleeing persecution, she sits behind cold steel bars. Awaiting her fate, trapped between two countries.
  • The great day had arrived! The Boss who had made their working lives a misery was finally about to retire. What? Leaving? Do!
  • The lads are up for back-to-basics camping. No beds? Cool. No water/electric? That’s OK. No phone charger? Dad, come and get us!
  • Chess champion Ivan thought he had the supercomputer on the run. But when the program attacked, the Grandmaster became its pupil.
  • “If you want to hand out sunbeams, you got to deal with the occasional hailstones” – Weather Presenters’ Handbook
  • Companies of tragic heroes, under Flanders fields. Hidden from our sight, a Century ago.
  • Today was a sad reminder: the number of International Happiness Days left in his life was slowly, but surely, running out.
  • Jim thought that going busking every day would drastically improve his finances. But it only made a small change.
  • He loved it when the girls said “Ciao!” He could pretend, just for a moment, that they were saying “Hello!” and not “Goodbye!”

My Twitter Fiction



A short selection of my Twitter fiction


Prof. Smith was suspicious of the Mayan 2013 calendar, offered for sale at the online auction site. He still bought it, though.

A Viking longboat burns brightly through a cloudless April night. Local teens have spoilt a good Friday night out. Again.

Do you need a novel idea to write a story? Try Astro Physics. It’s not rocket science, is it!

It was a civilized war. Both sides agreed for the maiming and killing to take place during office hours only.

Developer Maury Harty was mystified why his Baker Street apartments didn’t sell. He tried, but would never be rid of ‘Sherlock Homes’.

The Spartans were noble in victory. They toasted their captives, before eating their livers with some fava beans and a nice Chianti.

Why are some nutritional books so hard to stomach? They’d be easier as a digest.

Ancient Celtic shamans granted protection to a stone circle. Savvy local councillors broke the spell, and gave permission for a quarry.

I love working in the banking sector. The hours are good. The pay is phenomenal! When on CCTV, I never repeat the disguises.

Thomas compared family albums with his new neighbours. After gaining their trust, he stole more photos to add to his collection.

The Queen was presented with a wooden bench. Instead of bestowing it to a Royal park, she secretly sold it on eBay, just for the craic.

The politician’s integrity was questioned when the press revealed him as “Mr Leather 1999”. He foolishly claimed to have won in 2000.

He sounded so like Elvis. The judges spun their chairs, to find they’d been listening to an i-Pod and a set of speakers. It was Elvis.

A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step – and often ends with a long wait at Heathrow.