Wellbeing

Have a Nice Trip?

/ Steve Lakey / 2 Comments

snow scene

Photo: Snow Storm by Peter Griffin

A few days ago, we had a heavy snowfall, during the afternoon. As I drove from work, I had a couple of near misses with cars skidding to a halt in front of me. My engine then started cutting out. Closer to home, my car lost traction climbing a steep hill, and I ended up blocking traffic on a narrow stretch of road. Nothing I tried could get me moving forwards. There was no let-up in the snow or high winds.

From nowhere, a man with a shovel started digging my wheels out. Others came to help, and soon three people were pushing my car up the hill until I got moving again.

Three more times on the way home, I got stuck in deep snow. Three more times, people came and gave me a push to get me started. What is normally a twenty-minute journey had taken me about two hours. I was completely stressed, and couldn’t wait to get home and close the front door. The thought of driving back to work in the morning didn’t exactly fill me with joy…

It was only later when I reflected on my experiences. Was it really the nightmare journey I’d thought?

I was safe, as was my car. Several groups of perfect strangers had come to my aid, unprompted and got me moving again. They expected no recognition or reward; they’d just seen someone in trouble and gone to help out. I never got the chance to speak to anyone and give them my thanks. Without their intervention, I would’ve had to abandon my car in a dangerous position, and walk home through the snowstorm.

As for the weather – heavy rain during the night cleared the roads, and the sun was shining on my drive to work in the morning.

All in all, I consider myself quite lucky.

Sorry, Positive Thinking Doesn’t Work

/ Steve Lakey / 37 Comments

depression

Photo: Depression by George Hodan

Study after study has shown that Positive Thinking doesn’t improve your results. In fact, in many cases it has a negative effect on your outcomes. You can visualize every day, think positively about your life and still be in a worse place than people who don’t.

Why is that? Because many of the people who visualize, and think positively believe that’s all they have to do!

Positive Thinking on its own doesn’t work – because you have to take action to get the right results. Ideally, the “right” sort of action, inspired action. But any action is better than none. Your thoughts are the starting point, but we live in a physical world. Thoughts alone won’t get you there. You have to move your feet. It’s no good buying a new Ferrari if you don’t fuel it up. You don’t have to change the world, but you can make changes to yourself.

Working with thoughts and actions in tandem is where you get the best results. Lot’s of people work hard every day, and have little to show for it. So you need to take time to focus and plan your outcomes and goals. If you don’t know what you really want, how will you know if you get there?

This is where positive thinking and visualizing kick in. You have to practice them regularly because their effects are short lived. But so is cleaning your teeth, and you probably do that twice a day. It’s still a useful activity!

A problem can be, the more time you spend visualizing, the more you notice the difference between your current reality and where you want to be. But if you mix in short term goals, you can see the progress you are making towards them. You can even add goals you have achieved on the list, to remind yourself of your successes.

So make Positive Thinking part of your lifestyle – but don’t forget to take Positive Action!

Virtual Reality?

/ Steve Lakey / 4 Comments

digital-binario

Photo: Binary Digital by Marcos Tulio

The penny dropped for me, while watching the BBC documentary “Wonders of Life”. The programme explained how different animals perceive the world in completely different ways. The Catfish, for example can “smell” the chemicals in the water to help orientate itself. Each species has its own way of making sense of its surroundings, and experiences life in its own way.

It occurred to me that we do a similar thing. Our brain interprets the signals it receives, to give us our individual picture of the world. But is it “reality”? Can there actually be an objective reality, when all our experiences are self-filtered?

If we don’t experience a “standard” reality, then our experiences should be open to change. In the same way that we can literally change the images we see by wearing sunglasses, we can consciously change our outlook by changing our thoughts.

How we view what happens in our life is really only our perception anyway. So if you don’t like what’s happening to you, “go within” and change your outer world.

“90” or “100”?

/ Steve Lakey / 7 Comments

Question MarkPhoto: Help by Kosta Kostov

 

Motivational author and speaker Dr Stephen Covey has developed the “90-10 Rule”. The ’10′ refers to the 10% of our life that happens to us – the circumstances beyond our control. The ’90′ represents the other 90% of life that is under our control – how we choose to react to those circumstances.

Imagine if your alarm clock fails to go off and you over-lay. You have to fill up with fuel and there are huge queues. You hit all the red lights possible, and you’re stuck in traffic, meaning you are going to be late for work. You can’t change that, but you can decide how to react to it. Do you let yourself get out of control, or do you accept that sometimes these things happen, and find a better way to deal with it?

The ‘90-10’ rule makes perfect sense. But for me, I prefer to think of us as 100% responsible for our actions. If something upsets or angers us, that’s how we have ‘chosen’ to respond.

It’s not that we should try and repress these emotions, but sometimes it’s good to step back and take a wider perspective. How we’ve initially reacted is not the only way to deal with the situation.

Also, I think that for something to happen to us, or for us to be aware of it, we must be on a similar “frequency”. Not in the sense that we are to blame, but on a subconscious level, we have attracted it with our thoughts, beliefs and actions.

The way to move forward is to think and act more positively. How many times do we stop ourselves from trying something new, because of our fear of failure? If you “knew” that you would succeed today with every action you took, what could you accomplish?

If there is something important coming up in your day, why not take a few minutes and focus on how you would like it to develop. Visualize the outcome you want, and imagine yourself succeeding. Even if things don’t go exactly to plan, know that you will be able to cope with whatever happens. You always have coped up until now, and with a little extra focus, you could see positive changes.

Inspired Action

/ Steve Lakey / 5 Comments

sunset-on-the-beach  Photo: Sunset-on-the-Beach by George Hodan

There’s taking action and then there’s “inspired” action. What’s the difference? Only you can know – by trusting your intuition. And the best way to make a connection is to be in the right frame of mind for you to get creative. It’s that “zoned-out” feeling. Like when you’re daydreaming, or half-awake. Your brainwaves are in alpha state, and it seems to help in forming original ideas. New solutions to old problems.

What is the first step to take down your particular path of choice? What single action could you take to bring you one step closer to your goal?

Focus on your end result, then “switch off” and let the answer come to you. If you’re not clear about your goal, how can you know where to begin? Positive thinking doesn’t work without positive action. The key is to move your feet, and soon. But if success was purely about putting in a good shift, there would be a lot more winners out there.

On the other hand, sitting in a cave for a month isn’t my idea of fun, and it’s probably not yours either. Instead, five minutes peace and quiet might do the trick. A few deep breaths actually do help. Breathing from your diaphragm helps to oxygenate your brain, allowing you to think clearer.

Force a smile! Smiling or laughing, even when it’s fake, causes the brain to release ‘feel-good’ chemicals. Which makes you feel better. There’s truth in the saying “Fake it ’til you make it.”

Set your intention, then get ready to move!