Photo: Help by Kosta Kostov
Motivational author and speaker Dr Stephen Covey has developed the “90-10 Rule”. The ’10′ refers to the 10% of our life that happens to us – the circumstances beyond our control. The ’90′ represents the other 90% of life that is under our control – how we choose to react to those circumstances.
Imagine if your alarm clock fails to go off and you over-lay. You have to fill up with fuel and there are huge queues. You hit all the red lights possible, and you’re stuck in traffic, meaning you are going to be late for work. You can’t change that, but you can decide how to react to it. Do you let yourself get out of control, or do you accept that sometimes these things happen, and find a better way to deal with it?
The ‘90-10’ rule makes perfect sense. But for me, I prefer to think of us as 100% responsible for our actions. If something upsets or angers us, that’s how we have ‘chosen’ to respond.
It’s not that we should try and repress these emotions, but sometimes it’s good to step back and take a wider perspective. How we’ve initially reacted is not the only way to deal with the situation.
Also, I think that for something to happen to us, or for us to be aware of it, we must be on a similar “frequency”. Not in the sense that we are to blame, but on a subconscious level, we have attracted it with our thoughts, beliefs and actions.
The way to move forward is to think and act more positively. How many times do we stop ourselves from trying something new, because of our fear of failure? If you “knew” that you would succeed today with every action you took, what could you accomplish?
If there is something important coming up in your day, why not take a few minutes and focus on how you would like it to develop. Visualize the outcome you want, and imagine yourself succeeding. Even if things don’t go exactly to plan, know that you will be able to cope with whatever happens. You always have coped up until now, and with a little extra focus, you could see positive changes.
7 thoughts on ““90” or “100”?”
Hi Steve, Love your article ! I try to be aware of the moments when we are controlled by fear, and like to ask myself always what I do if there were no limits ? 🙂 Sabrina
That’s a great way of looking at it. Thanks for the comments.
my reactions are definitely a work in progress!! Love the website and it’s one i will keep coming back to.
Glad you like it, Lin. Thanks for the comment.
Hi Steve, I find this article very inspiring, especially this question “If you “knew” that you would succeed today with every action you took, what could you accomplish?”. You’re right. I believe that asking the right questions would set the tone for the entire day, and that’s a good question to ask. I enjoy your style of writing too 🙂 Thanks for sharing.
Thanks for your positive comments.
I really resonated with when you mentioned not to “repress” emotions. I feel like the emotions are indicators of the thoughts, and that we are responsible for them exactly as you’ve said.
I also really appreciate the fact that at the end you mentioned “Why not focus on how you would like it to develop.” For the simple fact that I believe that we get more of what we focus on.
Thank you so much for posting this, I appreciate the value that you are sharing.
– Sir Kev