Pixel Prose Challenge: Merking at the Car Wash

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Detective Johnny Block slowly scratched the crumpled collar of his three day old shirt. Yet another strange case had got him stumped. A series of disappearing Mercedes-Benz owners and their cars.

Johnny had of course checked out the only car dealership for miles around – Crystal Peak was a small town after all. The proprietor, old Dave Diamond, seemed a harmless Geezer. His two sons were surely cut from the same cloth, albeit a little rougher around the edges.

Detective Block paid them a little retainer, so they’d keep their ears to the ground. So far, he had got nothing to show for it – other than a healthy discount on a C-Class Coupe. How could the perp keep getting clean away with it?

As he waited behind the wheel for the Diamond’s automatic car wash to kick in, Johnny looked at the thirty-something sons, David Junior and Danny valeting a nearly-new Merc. But why were they using bleach? Bleach!

Wait a minute! That car’s interior would soon have any trace of the previous owner removed. Right down to the DNA.

Johnny slid his gear lever to Reverse, but the automatic chain was already pulling him forward. He started to open his door but a huge spinning brush forced it shut again. He quickly closed his half-open window as the soapy bristles threw water into his face.

From inside the car wash, Johnny was aware of a dark figure wearing a hooded waterproof, walking up to his door. Instinctively, Johnny drew his pistol, but it slipped through his soapy fingers and under the pedals. The figure pulled at Johnny’s door handle at exactly the same time Johnny put his shoulder against the inside.

The impact sent the figure reeling. Johnny leapt out of his car and picked up the metal bar that the figure had dropped. He needn’t have worried. The hooded man was out cold.

Johnny, now completely soaking, thought about pressing the Emergency Stop button, but then decided against it – he had paid for the Deluxe Wash after all. He grabbed his pistol and then waited for his Merc to come to a gentle stop.

“Let’s have a look at who we’ve got here!” Johnny pulled back the hood. “Old Mister Diamond! I don’t believe it. You’d have gotten away with it too, if it wasn’t for your pesky kids!”

And that was that. The whole family came without a struggle. They admitted to a string of unfortunate victims, and the terrible trio will all be sewing mailbags until the big check-out.

On a brighter note, their business was broken up, and most members of the Department have bought a nearly-new Mercedes at a discount price. Nice!

 

This story was prompted by Pixel Prose Challenge, hosted by Amanda Lakey at http://www.UniqueArtChic.com

 

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Fair Game?

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I wouldn’t normally have walked into the travelling fair that night. I’ve always found those things a bit creepy, but tonight I was hoping for a date with destiny.

As dusk slowly crept in, some of the rides were already packing up, ready to move off to their next destination. There seemed to be more staff than customers on site. No one looked like they were having fun. Just small groups of long faces and bowed heads.

One gaudy booth seem to stand out from the rest. I know friends who had visited fortune tellers, but I’d never believed in any of that stuff myself. I’m more into numbers and percentages. Things you can count on.

But here I was. In for a penny…

I pulled back the curtain and stepped inside. Instead of the usual mystical woman with a tarot pack, I found a familiar-looking pop star sat behind a desk. On the desk were neatly stacked piles of banknotes.

I gave the impression of surprise, and the man smiled. “Welcome! You’re the first person that’s come in all day. I thought I’d have to give it up as a bad job!”
“You’re telling fortunes now?”
He looked genuinely embarrassed. “It’s like this. My accountant tells me that the more money I give away now, the less I pay in tax. Crazy, eh?”
I nodded. What else could I do?

He slid the whole pile over to me. “Have the lot, pal. And the briefcase, you can take that too. There’s exactly a million here. My only condition is that you don’t tell the press. They’d have a field day!”

We shook hands and he disappeared into the gloom. Walking back to town with the briefcase, I had an extra spring in my step. Working for the Tax Department Tip-off phone line has it’s advantages. But I had given him my word to keep this quiet. I guess no one has to know. After all, I’d hate to get anyone into trouble…

 

Photos taken by iPhone 4S, and altered with Snapseed and Photo Toaster Apps. Photos and story written for the ‘Phoneography and Non-SLR Digital Devices: Editing and Processing with Apps’ prompt, hosted by Sally W. Donatello at Lens and Pens by Sally.

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Oh Well!

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Photo: © Al Forbes 2014

 

We told every prospective buyer of our cottage about the Well of Abundance in the front garden. How it sits atop an ancient energy source. And how any coins you place in the well, multiply tenfold when you turn the invisible handle. We explained how that well has been good to us over the years. It only seemed fair to tell the next owners.

How they all laughed at our tale. And declined to try it for themselves. We laughed too – having just moved into a large country mansion.

I accepted a generous offer for the cottage. They were a nice couple, although he apparently works in the banking sector. Imagine our horror then, when they casually mentioned their plans to slab-over the entire front garden!

I begged them to let me come over weekly, and I’d tend to the flower beds for free. And show them how to work the well. But they were having none of it. My application to have the well protected as a world heritage site was rejected. Maybe I shouldn’t have mentioned the invisible handle.

After taking legal advice, I’ve taken the cottage off the market. If that’s the only way to keep the abundance flowing, so be it.

Well, what would you have done?

 

This story was prompted by Sunday Photo Fiction: June 15th 2014, hosted by Al Forbes.

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The Little Boat

Rowing Boat Photo: © Al Forbes 2014

 

Jimbo wasn’t a very happy boat. In fact most of the time, he felt sad.

He didn’t like being so little. He was jealous of the bigger boats. They got all the fame and attention. Even the ones that sank. Especially the ones that sank! But not poor Jimbo. He had been overturned many times, and no one thought to make a film about it.

This weekend, was the last straw! All Jimbo heard about, was people talking about the big ships that sailed over to Normandy, seventy years ago. How they, even at risk to themselves, carried the brave men that freed a continent, and saved the world. The best that Jimbo ever got to do, was get rowed up and down a safe, man-made lake. Big deal!

But then Jimbo overheard something that completely turned him around. He heard about the bravery of lots of little boats four years before Normandy. They went over to France and rescued a battered army, that lived to fight another day. So, if it wasn’t for the little boats, the big boats couldn’t have done their thing.

Jimbo realised that because of the brave boats, big and small, people were free to row their boats and paddle their own canoes. Or just mess about on the water.

And then he didn’t feel sad any more.

 

This story is intended as a tribute to all those who risked their lives, to fight for the freedom we enjoy today. Their sacrifice is not forgotten.

 

The picture prompt is from Sunday Photo Fiction: June 8th 2014, hosted by Al Forbes.

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Smerk on the Water

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Photo: © Al Forbes 2014

 

Yes sir, I thought that the name Ahab Smerk was a bit fishy. I met him on a boating holiday in Wales. But he was a smooth operator – craftily introducing his business proposition to me over a complimentary Scampi and Chips.

As I wiped the tartare sauce from his glossy brochure, I could see that Smerk was deadly serious. He was looking for some investors interested in a little offshore action. ‘Smerk Leisure Park at Sea. All the profits are Tax free!’

It did seem ambitious, but there were photos of the Rollercoaster being towed into position. At least that’s what he said.

But when I mentioned that some of my colleagues at the Tax office might be interested in this venture, and he upped anchor and slipped into the sunset.

The thing was, he left all of these Share Certificates and Literature behind. And it seemed a shame not to sell them, just to the diners in the café, initially.

Then things really took off. Pretty soon, I’d set up a stall on the seafront at weekends. Not a bad place for a shell corporation!

But the tide soon turned, and I was left high and dry. Those pesky investors scuppered the deal.

So, Judge, if you’ll show me some leniency on a first offence, I can give you some sound tax advice. And I might let you in on another sweet deal I’m working on.

 

This story is prompted by Sunday Photo Fiction: 18 May 2014, hosted by Al Forbes. Click the logo for more details.

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