Alf, a Male

 

SeafrontPhoto © Al Forbes 2015

 

Seven o’clock on a Sunday morning – Mablethorpe seafront was almost deserted. I felt guilty and a bit shabby. Me, Alf Wilkins, retired greengrocer, slipping out from our guest house bedroom, leaving my wife Maisie still asleep. All to contact a stranger on the beach. But as he had paid for my weekend here, I felt I ought to go and meet with him. And this cloak and dagger stuff made me feel a bit like James Bond!

I guess this is him now, running quickly towards me. He’s stocky, sweating and out of breath. It’s hardly From Here to Eternity! I try to stifle a laugh. The guy slows to a walk. He pushes a small brown envelope into my hand, catches my eye, but says nothing. Then breaks into a run again.

I slowly head back to the seafront. Grabbing a cuppa from Babs’ Burger Bar, and sit on a nearby bench.

The envelope contains a cheap mobile phone wrapped in a £5 note. I read the text message, ‘Resign by next week and there’s another fiver in it for you. Reply ASAP. You can keep the phone by the way, there’s three pounds credit still on it!’

I think back through my years as Treasurer of Forest Worth Crown Green Bowling League. It was fun in the early days, but not any more. They all take it way too seriously now. It used to be a job for life, but I guess now it’s a young man’s game.

I used to be Alf Wilkins, Greengrocer, and Bowls League Treasurer. A somebody. But who am I now?

I think of my letter of resignation that I wrote last year but didn’t have the heart to post. I just wanted a bit longer in the job. It gave me a bit of prestige in the village, I’m sure. And now they’re paying me to get out. I guess it’s time to go…

I text back, ‘ I Quit. Regards, Alf’ and slip the phone into my pocket. I spend the fiver on a bacon roll and another cuppa, and walk slowly along the deserted seafront.

Maisie is dressed when I return and waiting to go down for breakfast. She’s wearing casuals, and a broad smile. Suddenly, the penny drops. She’s set the whole thing up! The League could easily have voted me off, but she figured it was better for me to go out in style.

Maisie’s telling me she’s picked out a Murder Mystery night for us.

I am somebody after all. Alf Wilkins, husband.

 

The story was inspired by the photo, provided for Sunday Photo Fiction May 31st 2015, by Al Forbes. Please click the logo for more details.

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 To view other entries click the link here.

‘GEORGE MARRIES DRAGON’ SHOCKER!

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Photo © Al Forbes 2015

Finally, the truth can be revealed, straight from the horses mouth.

You’ll be familiar with the official version of the ‘George and the Dragon’ story. Now I’m going to put things right.

My name is Prosecco, although my friends call me Pretty. I was Prince George’s Pony and private confidante for many years. I’ve got nothing against him personally, in fact I’ve spent much of my life supporting him. But I think he’s been badly advised not to go public with this.

You see, George should have been the patsy. He was told to saddle his pony, Pretty, and kill a dragon that was holding Princess Posy in a poor province. But Posy’s wicked stepmother Pansy had turned Posy into a dragon. The plan was, George, the patsy, would kill the dragon, who in death, would turn back to Posy, leaving George to take the blame. Pansy would be then free to rule the Kingdom, and poor George would be left in the slammer. Quite the perfect plan? Possibly.

But Pretty prevented Pansy’s slippery scheme!

When we first caught sight of it, the dragon looked a little too feminine, wearing a designer outfit and tiara. I whispered my suspicions to George and he did the rest. George shouted Posy’s name in her presence, and the spell was broken. And that’s Pretty much all she wrote.

But the Palace spin doctors didn’t want any whiff of a scandal. So, officially, ‘George killed the Dragon’, and Pansy is apparently on an extended world tour, out of the spotlight. In fact, Pansy is having a ‘permanent staycation’, and she’ll be cleaning the Dungeon floors with a toothbrush for many a long year.

Me, I was pensioned off with a pleasant young groom, and a nice stable environment to live out my days. But I just wanted to set the record straight in a dignified manner (and maybe get a book/movie deal) before I get too old.

Not too much to ask is it?

The story was inspired by the photo, provided for Sunday Photo Fiction April 26th 2015, by Al Forbes. Please click the logo for more details.

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 To view other entries click the link here.

How Could I have Mystic?

Dragon

Photo © Al Forbes 2015

Our toils and troubles started when I bought my daughter Connie a Witch outfit for Halloween.

I thought getting the gift set would keep her amused for a spell, but to my amazement, it only confirmed that she had already been given the gift. Charming! I noticed next door’s black cat was getting very familiar with Connie, but didn’t give it a second thought. Then the fun and games started.

Magical creatures started disappearing from around the neighbourhood. ‘Have you seen my Unicorn?’ posters became a common sight. There was even an Elf-line set up to investigate the myriad of mystical mysteries.

I finally realised something out of the ordinary was happening, when I saw Connie having regular parcels collected from our house. Turns out she was using an alchemy type spell to turn these poor magical creatures into a pewter-like substance. Then selling them on her own ‘Con Pewter’ website! It was almost too much to believe.

I was furious of course – we’re not covered for any of this on our home insurance!

Then we had a delegation from M.U.C.K. (Magical Union of Creatures and Kings) saying that if we didn’t stop abusing dragons and suchlike, they would really turn up the heat on us. The last thing we needed was M.U.C.K. raking over the hot coals.

There was even talk of a magical creatures setting up a picket line at the end of our drive. What would the neighbours say? They were already complaining about a large pumpkin parked on the pavement.

I found these Magical types were very rude – King Arthur refused to get around the table, and Snow White fell asleep during discussions. On the plus side, Connie did get some interesting autographs (currently for sale on her website) and a nice pair of red shoes, which are currently appearing in a production at a West End theatre.

With the help of an Elf blacksmith, we managed to hammer out a compromise deal:

Connie’s spells to last for 99 years only – a short time for magical creatures – then they’ll return to their normal form.

Charmed Creatures to receive commission, invested directly in Rumplestiltskin’s Gold Bank – “A Fair Deal for a Price”.

 

If you’d like to purchase a genuine pewter creature, please hurry to ICantBelieveImSoGullible.com for all your magical ornamental needs.

 

The story was inspired by Sunday Photo Fiction, April 19th 2015, hosted by Al Forbes. Click the logo for more details.

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 To view other entries click the link here.

Give it Your Best Shot

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Photo and Fiction © Steve Lakey 2015

 

(I) Mark

It doesn’t bother me that this time I personally know my target. I suppose you’d call me a professional hit man – it’s what I do for a living, and I do it well.

You might not think it, but most of my job is routine. It’s about preparation. Selecting the appropriate weapon, researching your target’s lifestyle and choosing the right place to finish the job.

I learned, from watching films, that a man has to be strong, and find his own way. You have to grab life by the throat and take what you need.
Routines – we live by them, and some of us die by them.

In this case, the man in question, Paul Johnson, is working in his study across the hall. But as he’s trying to cut down on his smoking, he leaves his cigarettes here, in the living room.

Cigarettes – they’ll kill you. Still, there’s no harm in me having one before he comes in. He’ll be another ten minutes – very methodical, is Paul.
I know I shouldn’t really smoke, but a man’s got to have some vices don’t you think? I’ll put a few in my pocket for later, it’s not like he’s going to need them, is it?

Sitting on the deep red carpet, I fit the silencer to my pistol and check it one last time. I take a last look around the living room. It’s stylish rather than friendly. Mind you, he has a good choice in movies. A few tasty DVDs next to the state-of-the-art home entertainment system. Some of my favourites – ‘Die Hard’, ‘The Terminator’, ‘The Krays’ and ‘Goodfellas’. That’s just for starters.

I don’t have time to think about them now – I’ve got a job to do.

Here he comes. I stand behind the door and wait until it swings open. I can feel his tension as he grabs the packet. Work is not going well today.

“Hey.” I call him softly, and he turns. Late forties, I would say from his face, although my dossier says he’s ten years younger. Married, in name only, and with a kid he never sees. Too many hours running his own business, although I’m told it pays well. Now he’s paying the price.

As I step forward and push the steel barrel into his forehead, the unlit cigarette falls from his open mouth. For a moment I hesitate.
“Mark. No!” I hear his scream echoing inside my head, but it’s too late. There is only a slight noise as I pull the trigger. Nice, quick and clean. Job done.

(II) Paul (Mark’s Dad)

I can do without any distractions today. I’m working from home to make sure this assignment is finished. Running my own freelance photography business means that I have to accept work as and when it comes along. It’s not just taking the photos – I’ve got to process them and do the paperwork too.

Just my luck it’s the school holidays. Julie would normally be here, but she has gone off into town. I asked her to take young Mark, but she’s meeting up with the girls and they’re going for a drink.

I haven’t got time to look after a lively ten year old. It’s easy for Julie to say I should spend more time with him, but it’s my job that puts the food on the table and buys our new gadgets. I’m sure he’s old enough to understand that. Luckily he’s happy enough watching movies. I’ll try and spend some quality time with him later.

I check on him every half an hour when I go for a cigarette break. I’ll get around to quitting one day, but life is stressful enough without one more extra hassle. If the packet was next to me I’d be smoking sixty a day. This way, it keeps me down to thirty.

When Mark is a bit older, I’ll show him my camera and computer set-up. But at the moment, my study is out of bounds for him. He’s more likely to break something. You know what kids are like, pressing and touching stuff that they shouldn’t. Plus, he’s at a funny age – wants to know everything about everything. And such an imagination!

Ah, time for another cig. I need a break – this editor is working me too hard. Don’t know where young Mark’s got to – the TV is turned off. Whoa kid! He was hiding behind the door and now he’s stuck his toy gun in my face. Gave me a real shock, for a second. Hang on – some of my cigs are missing…

“You’d better hand them over, son. That’s it. Don’t play with them – they’re really bad for you. Go and watch another film.”
I’ve taken the cigs with me to stop him messing around with them. I don’t want him picking up any bad habits.

 

The photo and fiction were prompted by Word Snap Weekly, 05 April 2015, hosted by Amanda Lakey at UniqueArtChic.com

Click the logo for more details.

Word Snap Weekly

 

Hedman Falls

IMG_0756Photo and Fiction © Steve Lakey 2015

 

Hedman Falls, Colorado isn’t a heaving metropolis at the best of times, but at ten past midnight with the thermometer falling, it was all but deserted. Outside, it was well below zero, but with the gentle hum of the car heater in the background, my eyelids were starting to head south.

Suddenly, a garbled shouting came over my radio. Then a burst of static. I was fully awake, when a second voice cut in.

“Control to Deputy Morris! Sheriff Wilson needs immediate backup over at the McCallum place. Please hurry John!” Janine’s voice was wavering. She was no shrinking violet but, like me, she knew her husband wouldn’t call for help unless he needed it. I hit the lights and siren, and my Nissan 4×4 kicked into life.

Winter in the Rockies can be harsh, and this year was no exception. I was grateful that the plough had been through town earlier this evening, but it wouldn’t have gone down the back-road that led to Billy McCallum’s driveway. As I left the street-light glow behind, my flashing lights danced eerily along the snow-covered trees at the side of the road.

When I turned onto the back-road, my snow-tyres struggled to keep their grip, and my heart began beating a little faster. I needed my wits about me just to stay on the road, but my mind was leaping ahead to what I might find.

McCallum could be a hothead, but he and Sheriff Jim Wilson went way back. Old war buddies in Vietnam, Jim had even lent Billy money to start up in business. Since then, Billy McCallum had done all right for himself. I had asked around. Maybe some sort of import/export business, no one seemed to know for sure – even Sheriff Wilson just shrugged. “Don’t you worry, John. Nothin’ untoward happens round here without me knowin’ about it. Leave McCallum to me. He can be mean.”

That was as far as our conversation went in that direction. But they never went too far in any direction. After moving from out of state, I’d worked as a Deputy in Hedman Falls for five years and still there was so much about the Sheriff, and his town, that I didn’t know. At times, I still felt like an outsider. I guess we all have secrets in our past that we want to stay buried. I know I have.

What I did know was that I wouldn’t want to cross the sheriff’s wife, Janine Wilson. ‘Feisty’ doesn’t begin to cover it. With her working at the department as a control operator, the Wilsons haven’t got room to breathe, and many’s the time they’ve had a shouting match over the airwaves.

“What’s happening, John?” My radio crackled into life. “Don’t make me come over there and sort it myself!”
“Almost, Janine, just a couple of minutes now.” Behind the bravado, she was really scared. To tell the truth, so was I.

As I turned the corner I could see the Sheriff’s car parked next to the black wrought iron gates. Driver’s door open, headlights on, but no sign of Jim. I grabbed my torch and shotgun before getting out of the car. The biting cold wind carried a little snow, which spiralled its way to the ground. The sudden drop in temperature made me shiver.

I could see a set of footprints leading up to the tall gates, and then continuing beyond. The gates were securely padlocked – nothing for it but to climb over. I gently eased myself over the spikes and set off up the wooded driveway at a run. The circle of my torchlight danced ahead of me. Other than that, there was very little light. Dark shadows swayed either side of me, but I kept my mind focused.

The drive swung round to the left and then I was clear of the trees. I could see the black outlines of several outbuildings, but I headed for the main house, which seemed to have all lights blazing. The front door was slightly ajar. I didn’t bother to knock.

“Jim! It’s John, you there?” Silence – loud and deafening. I cautiously walked through the entrance hall, giving my eyes time to adjust to the brightness. I blinked, and tried to clear my head.

“I’m through here John!” It was Jim’s familiar voice.
I ran through to the next room. It was huge and dominated by a large fireplace. A log fire roared and crackled in the hearth, casting out an oppressive heat and scattering dancing shadows across the wall hangings. A rich, musky smell hung in the air. At the dimly lit far end of the room, there was a hunched figure sat leaning over a wooden table. Head down, he had his back to me. I could see his hands were cuffed behind his back.

Even before the head half-turned, I knew that it wasn’t Jim. Billy McCallum tried to speak, but could do no more than make a grunt. His face was a mess. One eye was closed, the other regarded me with fear.

“Billy and me have had a falling out.” The lack of emotion in the voice behind me didn’t disguise who owned it. I turned to see Sheriff Jim, his rifle draped casually over his arm as if he was out hunting rabbits. He didn’t have a hair out of place, but the fixed grin on his face scared me. He looked me up and down. “You’re looking flustered, Johnny. You must’ve got here in a real hurry.”
“You gave out an emergency call, for this?”

Jim looked puzzled and shook his head. He lowered his rifle until it was pointing the floor. “You still don’t get it do you. You want to know what business he’s in? Go and take a look.” He gestured over his shoulder to a door in the corner of the room. I tightened the grip on my shotgun and cautiously walked over.

The heavy door was reinforced and didn’t open easily. Inside, dozens of packing cases were stacked, almost floor to ceiling. One of them was open. I moved the straw to one side and took out an antique lamp. Without thinking I reached underneath. It came as no surprise to me that I had pulled out a bag of white powder. And then another, and another.

It’s an import business, to be sure.

The sound of a shotgun blast set me running through the doorway. I saw the body on the floor just before I felt the Sheriff’s rifle barrel pressing into the back of my neck. He slowly eased the shotgun from my hands.

“Just relax, John. McCallum was onto a good thing but he just got greedy. This operation ran as sweet as sugar when we set it up. I kept him out of trouble and he gave me a fair cut. But then he started holding back on me. He shouldn’t have done that, but now the business is mine, I guess I need a new partner. You interested?”

“What do you take me for? You think I’m as twisted as you?”

I instantly regretted it. With my revolver safely clipped in its holster, this wasn’t a good time to turn Jim into an enemy. His rifle was now digging into my back.
“It’s tragic, really. My deputy was shot while struggling with the prisoner. You’re from outta town. You’ve never been one of us, Johnny!”

He stepped back from me. I closed my eyes and waited for the impact. Two shots rang out, and I crumpled to the floor.

“Jim, you lowlife! I knew you were up to something!” The voice was unmistakably Janine. I opened my eyes. She was standing over the body of her recently expired husband. “I should have done that a long time ago! He couldn’t get anything right. You can pick yourself up now, Deputy.”

* * *

And that all happened three years ago. Funny how things turn out really. I feel much more at home since I was made Sheriff of Hedman Falls. Janine has made a fine Deputy. We don’t have too much crime to fight here, which gives us plenty of time to work on a little Import business that we inherited. If you ever want to buy an antique lamp or two, you know who to call.

 

The photo and fiction were prompted by Word Snap Weekly, 29nd March 2015, hosted by Amanda Lakey at UniqueArtChic.com

Click the logo for more details.

Word Snap Weekly