The Only Game in Town

Solitaire

Photo © Al Forbes 2015

“Hello. You must be Dr Martin Smith, I’m Professor Phoenix. I always enjoy giving visitors the tour of my long-stay psychiatric facility. Its state-of-the-art facilities, progressive methods and outstanding success stories are gaining us international recognition. We use our own funding, and I encourage my staff to use the most progressive methods. No-one is beyond hope.”

A man playing solitaire acknowledges us as we pass. “Six months ago, that gentleman was unable to communicate with anyone. Now he runs a self-help anxiety support group. We focus on Positive Psychology, as a means of complementing, not replacing conventional psychology. The results speak for themselves.”

Soon, the tour is over. Martin stops taking notes on his clipboard and shakes my hand. He seems impressed. I return to my table with some of the other patients.

I know that Dr Smith isn’t just another visitor – he’s assessing me for potential discharge. I’m happy to appear delusional – if I appear too ‘normal’, they might release me. I’ve still got work to do here.

My unofficial therapies seem to work much better here than the prescribed ones. But they’re unlikely to be adopted into the mainstream, any time soon. Until then, I’ll stay here and let them take the credit for my results.

I walk over to a quiet corner where a man sits alone, staring at the wall. I sit down next to him, take out a solitaire game from my pocket, and start to explain how it’s played.

The story was inspired by the photo, provided for Sunday Photo Fiction June 7th 2015, by Al Forbes. Please click the logo for more details.

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Alf, a Male

 

SeafrontPhoto © Al Forbes 2015

 

Seven o’clock on a Sunday morning – Mablethorpe seafront was almost deserted. I felt guilty and a bit shabby. Me, Alf Wilkins, retired greengrocer, slipping out from our guest house bedroom, leaving my wife Maisie still asleep. All to contact a stranger on the beach. But as he had paid for my weekend here, I felt I ought to go and meet with him. And this cloak and dagger stuff made me feel a bit like James Bond!

I guess this is him now, running quickly towards me. He’s stocky, sweating and out of breath. It’s hardly From Here to Eternity! I try to stifle a laugh. The guy slows to a walk. He pushes a small brown envelope into my hand, catches my eye, but says nothing. Then breaks into a run again.

I slowly head back to the seafront. Grabbing a cuppa from Babs’ Burger Bar, and sit on a nearby bench.

The envelope contains a cheap mobile phone wrapped in a £5 note. I read the text message, ‘Resign by next week and there’s another fiver in it for you. Reply ASAP. You can keep the phone by the way, there’s three pounds credit still on it!’

I think back through my years as Treasurer of Forest Worth Crown Green Bowling League. It was fun in the early days, but not any more. They all take it way too seriously now. It used to be a job for life, but I guess now it’s a young man’s game.

I used to be Alf Wilkins, Greengrocer, and Bowls League Treasurer. A somebody. But who am I now?

I think of my letter of resignation that I wrote last year but didn’t have the heart to post. I just wanted a bit longer in the job. It gave me a bit of prestige in the village, I’m sure. And now they’re paying me to get out. I guess it’s time to go…

I text back, ‘ I Quit. Regards, Alf’ and slip the phone into my pocket. I spend the fiver on a bacon roll and another cuppa, and walk slowly along the deserted seafront.

Maisie is dressed when I return and waiting to go down for breakfast. She’s wearing casuals, and a broad smile. Suddenly, the penny drops. She’s set the whole thing up! The League could easily have voted me off, but she figured it was better for me to go out in style.

Maisie’s telling me she’s picked out a Murder Mystery night for us.

I am somebody after all. Alf Wilkins, husband.

 

The story was inspired by the photo, provided for Sunday Photo Fiction May 31st 2015, by Al Forbes. Please click the logo for more details.

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 To view other entries click the link here.

‘GEORGE MARRIES DRAGON’ SHOCKER!

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Photo © Al Forbes 2015

Finally, the truth can be revealed, straight from the horses mouth.

You’ll be familiar with the official version of the ‘George and the Dragon’ story. Now I’m going to put things right.

My name is Prosecco, although my friends call me Pretty. I was Prince George’s Pony and private confidante for many years. I’ve got nothing against him personally, in fact I’ve spent much of my life supporting him. But I think he’s been badly advised not to go public with this.

You see, George should have been the patsy. He was told to saddle his pony, Pretty, and kill a dragon that was holding Princess Posy in a poor province. But Posy’s wicked stepmother Pansy had turned Posy into a dragon. The plan was, George, the patsy, would kill the dragon, who in death, would turn back to Posy, leaving George to take the blame. Pansy would be then free to rule the Kingdom, and poor George would be left in the slammer. Quite the perfect plan? Possibly.

But Pretty prevented Pansy’s slippery scheme!

When we first caught sight of it, the dragon looked a little too feminine, wearing a designer outfit and tiara. I whispered my suspicions to George and he did the rest. George shouted Posy’s name in her presence, and the spell was broken. And that’s Pretty much all she wrote.

But the Palace spin doctors didn’t want any whiff of a scandal. So, officially, ‘George killed the Dragon’, and Pansy is apparently on an extended world tour, out of the spotlight. In fact, Pansy is having a ‘permanent staycation’, and she’ll be cleaning the Dungeon floors with a toothbrush for many a long year.

Me, I was pensioned off with a pleasant young groom, and a nice stable environment to live out my days. But I just wanted to set the record straight in a dignified manner (and maybe get a book/movie deal) before I get too old.

Not too much to ask is it?

The story was inspired by the photo, provided for Sunday Photo Fiction April 26th 2015, by Al Forbes. Please click the logo for more details.

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 To view other entries click the link here.

How Could I have Mystic?

Dragon

Photo © Al Forbes 2015

Our toils and troubles started when I bought my daughter Connie a Witch outfit for Halloween.

I thought getting the gift set would keep her amused for a spell, but to my amazement, it only confirmed that she had already been given the gift. Charming! I noticed next door’s black cat was getting very familiar with Connie, but didn’t give it a second thought. Then the fun and games started.

Magical creatures started disappearing from around the neighbourhood. ‘Have you seen my Unicorn?’ posters became a common sight. There was even an Elf-line set up to investigate the myriad of mystical mysteries.

I finally realised something out of the ordinary was happening, when I saw Connie having regular parcels collected from our house. Turns out she was using an alchemy type spell to turn these poor magical creatures into a pewter-like substance. Then selling them on her own ‘Con Pewter’ website! It was almost too much to believe.

I was furious of course – we’re not covered for any of this on our home insurance!

Then we had a delegation from M.U.C.K. (Magical Union of Creatures and Kings) saying that if we didn’t stop abusing dragons and suchlike, they would really turn up the heat on us. The last thing we needed was M.U.C.K. raking over the hot coals.

There was even talk of a magical creatures setting up a picket line at the end of our drive. What would the neighbours say? They were already complaining about a large pumpkin parked on the pavement.

I found these Magical types were very rude – King Arthur refused to get around the table, and Snow White fell asleep during discussions. On the plus side, Connie did get some interesting autographs (currently for sale on her website) and a nice pair of red shoes, which are currently appearing in a production at a West End theatre.

With the help of an Elf blacksmith, we managed to hammer out a compromise deal:

Connie’s spells to last for 99 years only – a short time for magical creatures – then they’ll return to their normal form.

Charmed Creatures to receive commission, invested directly in Rumplestiltskin’s Gold Bank – “A Fair Deal for a Price”.

 

If you’d like to purchase a genuine pewter creature, please hurry to ICantBelieveImSoGullible.com for all your magical ornamental needs.

 

The story was inspired by Sunday Photo Fiction, April 19th 2015, hosted by Al Forbes. Click the logo for more details.

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 To view other entries click the link here.

Give it Your Best Shot

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Photo and Fiction © Steve Lakey 2015

 

(I) Mark

It doesn’t bother me that this time I personally know my target. I suppose you’d call me a professional hit man – it’s what I do for a living, and I do it well.

You might not think it, but most of my job is routine. It’s about preparation. Selecting the appropriate weapon, researching your target’s lifestyle and choosing the right place to finish the job.

I learned, from watching films, that a man has to be strong, and find his own way. You have to grab life by the throat and take what you need.
Routines – we live by them, and some of us die by them.

In this case, the man in question, Paul Johnson, is working in his study across the hall. But as he’s trying to cut down on his smoking, he leaves his cigarettes here, in the living room.

Cigarettes – they’ll kill you. Still, there’s no harm in me having one before he comes in. He’ll be another ten minutes – very methodical, is Paul.
I know I shouldn’t really smoke, but a man’s got to have some vices don’t you think? I’ll put a few in my pocket for later, it’s not like he’s going to need them, is it?

Sitting on the deep red carpet, I fit the silencer to my pistol and check it one last time. I take a last look around the living room. It’s stylish rather than friendly. Mind you, he has a good choice in movies. A few tasty DVDs next to the state-of-the-art home entertainment system. Some of my favourites – ‘Die Hard’, ‘The Terminator’, ‘The Krays’ and ‘Goodfellas’. That’s just for starters.

I don’t have time to think about them now – I’ve got a job to do.

Here he comes. I stand behind the door and wait until it swings open. I can feel his tension as he grabs the packet. Work is not going well today.

“Hey.” I call him softly, and he turns. Late forties, I would say from his face, although my dossier says he’s ten years younger. Married, in name only, and with a kid he never sees. Too many hours running his own business, although I’m told it pays well. Now he’s paying the price.

As I step forward and push the steel barrel into his forehead, the unlit cigarette falls from his open mouth. For a moment I hesitate.
“Mark. No!” I hear his scream echoing inside my head, but it’s too late. There is only a slight noise as I pull the trigger. Nice, quick and clean. Job done.

(II) Paul (Mark’s Dad)

I can do without any distractions today. I’m working from home to make sure this assignment is finished. Running my own freelance photography business means that I have to accept work as and when it comes along. It’s not just taking the photos – I’ve got to process them and do the paperwork too.

Just my luck it’s the school holidays. Julie would normally be here, but she has gone off into town. I asked her to take young Mark, but she’s meeting up with the girls and they’re going for a drink.

I haven’t got time to look after a lively ten year old. It’s easy for Julie to say I should spend more time with him, but it’s my job that puts the food on the table and buys our new gadgets. I’m sure he’s old enough to understand that. Luckily he’s happy enough watching movies. I’ll try and spend some quality time with him later.

I check on him every half an hour when I go for a cigarette break. I’ll get around to quitting one day, but life is stressful enough without one more extra hassle. If the packet was next to me I’d be smoking sixty a day. This way, it keeps me down to thirty.

When Mark is a bit older, I’ll show him my camera and computer set-up. But at the moment, my study is out of bounds for him. He’s more likely to break something. You know what kids are like, pressing and touching stuff that they shouldn’t. Plus, he’s at a funny age – wants to know everything about everything. And such an imagination!

Ah, time for another cig. I need a break – this editor is working me too hard. Don’t know where young Mark’s got to – the TV is turned off. Whoa kid! He was hiding behind the door and now he’s stuck his toy gun in my face. Gave me a real shock, for a second. Hang on – some of my cigs are missing…

“You’d better hand them over, son. That’s it. Don’t play with them – they’re really bad for you. Go and watch another film.”
I’ve taken the cigs with me to stop him messing around with them. I don’t want him picking up any bad habits.

 

The photo and fiction were prompted by Word Snap Weekly, 05 April 2015, hosted by Amanda Lakey at UniqueArtChic.com

Click the logo for more details.

Word Snap Weekly