happiness

Virtual Reality?

/ Steve Lakey / 4 Comments

digital-binario

Photo: Binary Digital by Marcos Tulio

The penny dropped for me, while watching the BBC documentary “Wonders of Life”. The programme explained how different animals perceive the world in completely different ways. The Catfish, for example can “smell” the chemicals in the water to help orientate itself. Each species has its own way of making sense of its surroundings, and experiences life in its own way.

It occurred to me that we do a similar thing. Our brain interprets the signals it receives, to give us our individual picture of the world. But is it “reality”? Can there actually be an objective reality, when all our experiences are self-filtered?

If we don’t experience a “standard” reality, then our experiences should be open to change. In the same way that we can literally change the images we see by wearing sunglasses, we can consciously change our outlook by changing our thoughts.

How we view what happens in our life is really only our perception anyway. So if you don’t like what’s happening to you, “go within” and change your outer world.

“90” or “100”?

/ Steve Lakey / 7 Comments

Question MarkPhoto: Help by Kosta Kostov

 

Motivational author and speaker Dr Stephen Covey has developed the “90-10 Rule”. The ’10′ refers to the 10% of our life that happens to us – the circumstances beyond our control. The ’90′ represents the other 90% of life that is under our control – how we choose to react to those circumstances.

Imagine if your alarm clock fails to go off and you over-lay. You have to fill up with fuel and there are huge queues. You hit all the red lights possible, and you’re stuck in traffic, meaning you are going to be late for work. You can’t change that, but you can decide how to react to it. Do you let yourself get out of control, or do you accept that sometimes these things happen, and find a better way to deal with it?

The ‘90-10’ rule makes perfect sense. But for me, I prefer to think of us as 100% responsible for our actions. If something upsets or angers us, that’s how we have ‘chosen’ to respond.

It’s not that we should try and repress these emotions, but sometimes it’s good to step back and take a wider perspective. How we’ve initially reacted is not the only way to deal with the situation.

Also, I think that for something to happen to us, or for us to be aware of it, we must be on a similar “frequency”. Not in the sense that we are to blame, but on a subconscious level, we have attracted it with our thoughts, beliefs and actions.

The way to move forward is to think and act more positively. How many times do we stop ourselves from trying something new, because of our fear of failure? If you “knew” that you would succeed today with every action you took, what could you accomplish?

If there is something important coming up in your day, why not take a few minutes and focus on how you would like it to develop. Visualize the outcome you want, and imagine yourself succeeding. Even if things don’t go exactly to plan, know that you will be able to cope with whatever happens. You always have coped up until now, and with a little extra focus, you could see positive changes.

Inspired Action

/ Steve Lakey / 5 Comments

sunset-on-the-beach  Photo: Sunset-on-the-Beach by George Hodan

There’s taking action and then there’s “inspired” action. What’s the difference? Only you can know – by trusting your intuition. And the best way to make a connection is to be in the right frame of mind for you to get creative. It’s that “zoned-out” feeling. Like when you’re daydreaming, or half-awake. Your brainwaves are in alpha state, and it seems to help in forming original ideas. New solutions to old problems.

What is the first step to take down your particular path of choice? What single action could you take to bring you one step closer to your goal?

Focus on your end result, then “switch off” and let the answer come to you. If you’re not clear about your goal, how can you know where to begin? Positive thinking doesn’t work without positive action. The key is to move your feet, and soon. But if success was purely about putting in a good shift, there would be a lot more winners out there.

On the other hand, sitting in a cave for a month isn’t my idea of fun, and it’s probably not yours either. Instead, five minutes peace and quiet might do the trick. A few deep breaths actually do help. Breathing from your diaphragm helps to oxygenate your brain, allowing you to think clearer.

Force a smile! Smiling or laughing, even when it’s fake, causes the brain to release ‘feel-good’ chemicals. Which makes you feel better. There’s truth in the saying “Fake it ’til you make it.”

Set your intention, then get ready to move!

Gratitude Attitude

/ Steve Lakey / 2 Comments

smiley   

 Photo: Smiley by Paul Lloyd

One way to feel good is to have a gratitude attitude. Make it part of your routine. Every day and often. Nothing to feel good about? Use your imagination. It’s about putting things into perspective.

We all have endless things to feel grateful for. Take a walk in nature and see the beauty around you. Think about the technology and access to information that we take for granted. If you live in the developed world, you’re richer than most people on the planet. Wherever you live, you can still choose to view life your way. Of course people may say that you should be more “realistic” with your thinking. But who are they to say what is realistic for you? We are each able to frame our own thinking. Every day, or every moment can be a fresh start. You can only ever experience in this current moment, so why not make it feel the way you want it to.

Is it really selfish to put yourself first? Even if it goes against everything we’ve been told, how can you give to others if you’re running on empty? If you make a habit of taking some “me” time, it allows you to recharge your batteries and be more able to live and full life.

You are totally unique. Out of 107 billion people who have ever lived, there will only ever be one “you”. Start from where you are and use what you have. Don’t put off want you want to do. If the task seems daunting, take one step at a time. The only perfect time to start is NOW!

Thought Bubble

/ Steve Lakey / Leave a comment

bubbles

Photo: Bubbles by George Hodan

 

I believe we are all living in our own ‘thought bubble’ – a ‘bubble’ of consciousness. Nothing can enter without us first creating it on some level. We allow all our experiences to enter either consciously or unconsciously.

How do we monitor what’s in our bubble? It would be draining to try and analyse even our conscious thoughts. It can even be counter-productive. Once you realise that you have created negative thoughts, how does that make you feel? Even worse! How do you ‘dig out’ those negative thoughts anyway?

But in any given moment you know how you feel. If you’re not comfortable with where you are, you can do something to change it. You have a choice here. You’re the one who created the thoughts. So, re-create them. If you’re confronted with a situation you don’t like, re-frame it or shift your focus. Often, it is our resistance to the problem that makes it worse. If you’re feeling overwhelmed, you’re not going to find a solution. If something is draining your energy, put your focus elsewhere. Maybe have a cup of tea. Then come back to your original problem with fresh eyes. Winston Churchill said “If you’re going through hell, keep going.”

You won’t be able to improve the economy single-handed, so worrying about it can’t move you forward. You might feel better reminding yourself that you know how to budget, so whatever happens, you won’t go under. Or you may prefer to play a round of golf, because that’s where you relax and have your best ideas, free from the clutter of day-to-day thinking.

So, escapism rules? Lets head for the hills? It’s not about avoiding the issues, it’s about facing them in the frame of mind that gives us the edge. Author Jack London wrote, “Life is not always a matter of holding good cards, but sometimes, playing a poor hand well.” But there has to be more to it than thinking and feeling your way to happiness. You still have to take action.

It’s by taking action that the things you want will come to you. It’s no good expecting to win the lottery if you don’t buy a ticket. As they say, “You’ve got to be in it to win it!” But if working harder was the key to success, there would be a lot more successful people out there. Don’t work harder – work smarter.

The bottom line is: the only meaning that any incident has, is the one we assign to it. Is it a ‘disaster’ or a ‘learning experience’? Which do you prefer?