Photo: Copyright Al Forbes 2014

Craig Z Stardust walks in front of the studio cameras, desperately hand-combs his greasy hair and flashes a grimy set of teeth. He nervously acknowledges the familiar TV Business Brains he is pitching to.

 “If you take a look at the picture I’ve brought with me, it’s my idea of what the ‘Stardust Scooper’ could look like.”

Craig removes a crumpled piece of paper from his jacket pocket, which reveals a photograph of the Martian probe, Beagle 2. Blank looks all round. Craig’s nerves are getting worse, but he continues anyway.

“I’m hoping to revolutionise home cleaning by using Mars-tested technology. My automated, soundless vacuum system could wipe out the dirt, and silence the competition! I haven’t actually made one yet, but it’ll soon be up and running. I’ve heard the Beagle’s blueprints are on the internet somewhere. Of course, I’ll need upfront funding. $2 million should cover it.”

The Brains are loving it. They know what’s happening. This has got to be one of those crazy losers who’ll be filmed for the series’ outtakes. They all agree and sign the fake contracts that Craig passes them, just for the cameras.

Unfortunately, Craig may be eccentric, but his contracts are water-tight. With his fame and fortune, he’s hoping to pitch a new TV show, Craig Zee Like a Fox.

This is my contribution for Sunday Photo Fiction, February 2nd 2014, hosted by Al Forbes. Click here for more details.

To read the other stories, click the logo.