Photo: © Al Forbes 2015
(At the Little Chuffing village Police Station)
“Look, Pc Pleb, I’m not impressed. I want my antique bicycle found, and I want it now! I left it in the porch of my mansion overnight, and now it’s gone. I thought this was the sort of place where you could leave your doors unlocked. I own half of this village, it’s about time I got some respect here!”
“That’s strange, Lord Blatherpot, people around here tend to stick together and look after their own. You haven’t put up their rents again, have you, sir?”
“How dare you be so impertinent! I may have put up their rents, but it’s no business of yours!”
“I’m so sorry, your Lordship. You take the weight off for a minute, and I’ll bring you a nice cup of Yorkshire Tea and some Custard Creams. You realise that I’m the only Copper around here because of all the cut-backs? But I’ll make this crime a priority, sir.”
Ten minutes later, after a quick local phone call, wily old Police Constable Johnny Plebworth returned with tea, biscuits and sympathy.
“Now then, your Lordship, come and sit by the fire. Start at the beginning and tell me everything.”
They were still there, half an hour later, when the phone rang. Johnny shuffled into the back and answered it. He stifled a smile before he returned to update his Lordship.
“I have some good news and bad news. Your bike has been found on top of the porch at the Red Lion. You’ll need a ladder to retrieve it. I can’t go because of my poorly back. Unfortunately, it appears that some pranksters have put all your furniture out on the village green. You may want to check it’s all there, sir. And you really should lock your door! Anyway, that’s my shift done, I’m off to play darts in the Red Lion, if you fancy a game later?”
This story is inspired by the photo supplied by Al Forbes of Sunday Photo Fiction, October 24th 2015. For more details click the logo.
To view other stories written for this challenge, please click here.
Walk the Self-Talk 
Hello Steve. Excellent story with nice touch of satire. Its good to have a change from the first person narrator! A suggestion for next week. . . Story about being a deficit denier. What do you think?! Helen
Thanks for the positive comment, Helen. Next week’s story will depend on the prompt!
Hehe That’s what he gets for making the villagers hate him so much. Love it.
Thanks. They’re a rebellious bunch!
That’s great, what a colorful cast of characters! Chuckling the whole time 🙂
Thanks. The arrogant Lord may want to think about his behaviour in future!
Trumpton meets Benny Hill.
Love it.
Thanks. That’s a great description!
A very good use of satire to sum up a situation. He definitely needs to rethink the way that he is treating his people!
Thanks! He could end up with more than he bargained for!
I liked the setting. Nice story.
Thanks Graham. I think it’s a setting I could return to in the future.
Ha ha, Karma does as Karma can 🙂
Thanks, Helen. It’s definitely a warning for him!
Good comparison on the new generation, “You really should lock you doors,” and the old generation, “Well I’m off duty now. You finish up.”
I like it.
I saw him as an experienced Local ‘Bobby’ who knew everyone inside out.
He’d make a fun character in a longer story.
Ha ha, serves him right! If you want to make the rules someone will break it! Good that all his furniture is out on the lawn. Very good story!
Thanks. I think that was just the beginning!
Mmmm yes just the ears of the hippo as they say it in South Africa!
Funny! Money and status doesn’t always get you what you want! Hopefully, he will realize that he must change his ways. “What goes around, comes around.”
Thanks. I wonder if he will figure this out!
Funny tale. 🙂
Thank you! 😀
A wonderful tale of village life! My friend owned a pub in Sussex with three penny farthings hanging from the bar ceiling. But he actually owns them. We called it the Threepence Three Farthings!
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Thanks for the comment. I think there is room to expand these characters.
I can vividly picture the entire village and its characters! Wonderfully written!
Thanks. I’d like to take these characters further with another story.
Power corrupts absolutely. I’d say Lord B is getting what he deserves for not having a heart for the people lower on the social scale.
Thanks. Let’s hope he learns from it.