I had the idea of getting out, from one of those old war movies. The one with all those great escapes in. I’ve been watching those builders taking scrap metal out at 4pm every day. Back at 6pm. I knew that would give me all the time I needed.

There’s some loose planks on the back of the truck that leave enough room for me and the stuff. I’ve done this run a few times so I know the routine. They always call at the pub on the retail park, to have a meal and a pint. Then drop the scrap at the tip, before going back.

The thing is, when you’ve been ‘inside’ for as long as we have, you need something to brighten the place up. ‘Homely Bargain Bins’ is our shop of choice. They have some tasteful home decor, in the latest styles, and at reasonable prices. Especially when you know the security guards.

I’ve just taken a photo of the van with my new smartphone. It’s a five finger discount, of course.

It’s time to get back aboard. Don’t worry, I’ve got three hundred honest lads who’ll give me an alibi. If you’re wondering why we need a lot of stuff? Because we live in a big house!

 

This is my contribution to Sunday Photo Fiction, May 04 2014, Hosted by Al Forbes. For more details, click the logo. 

To view the other stories in this challenge, click the blue frog!

 

People say that I should have moved that pile of mechanical wreckage away from the ‘For Sale’ sign. That it ‘sends out the wrong message’.

To be honest, there was a time when I didn’t know if I’d rather sell the farm, or have the bank take it off me. I’d had it with farming, despite that being all I’d ever known.

That pile of rust was my father’s pride and joy. The first plough he was able to buy from new. When the time came, he handed it down to me. But then our contracts kept reducing in value, year on year. We’d have been better off taking European subsidies to not grow certain crops. You couldn’t make it up!

But now I’ve found a better way. I’ve got myself an even bigger government grant to start a Living Farm Museum. Some of it will show how some farms have gone to the wall. Other parts will form a working enterprise, selling straight to the public. No expensive middlemen taking their cut.

I’m sure Dad would have been proud.

 

This is my contribution to Sunday Photo Fiction, 27 April 2014, hosted by Al Forbes. If you’d like to know more, click the logo.

 

If you’d like to read the other stories, click the blue frog!

 

Bob and Jim weren’t having the best of days. The sandstorm had come out of nowhere, and now they were completely lost.

Visibility was still low. The hot, dry sand seemed everywhere, pulling at their ankles, and making every breath painful. Occasionally, huge boulders would appear menacingly out of the dust, only to disappear again, just as quickly.

Heads down, they kept moving forward. But forward to where? Even as they moved, Time appeared to stand still.

“Hey, Bob. I’ve seen that boulder before. I think we’re going round in circles!”

“It’s worse than that, Jim. We’re out of energy drinks and chocolate. Only a miracle can save us now!”

They pushed on, for what seemed like hours, until they could go no further. Finally, the game was up. They sank to their knees in despair…

It was Jim that saw it first, or it may have been Bob – they couldn’t be sure.

Lush greenery amongst the sand. An oasis? No, it’s only a Garden Centre! With Easter holiday Discounts. Yay!

After recuperating in the café, with Mars bars and fizzy drinks, Bob and Jim needed to seriously chillax. They headed to the Zen garden and quickly lost themselves in the moment. Time appeared to stand still.

“Hey, Bob. I’ve seen that boulder before. I think we’re going round in circles!”

 

This is my contribution to Sunday Photo Fiction, April 20th 2014, hosted by Al Forbes.

Click  the logo for more details. 

To view the other stories, click the little blue frog!

Craig Z Stardust walks in front of the studio cameras, desperately hand-combs his greasy hair and flashes a grimy set of teeth. He nervously acknowledges the familiar TV Business Brains he is pitching to.

 “If you take a look at the picture I’ve brought with me, it’s my idea of what the ‘Stardust Scooper’ could look like.”

Craig removes a crumpled piece of paper from his jacket pocket, which reveals a photograph of the Martian probe, Beagle 2. Blank looks all round. Craig’s nerves are getting worse, but he continues anyway.

“I’m hoping to revolutionise home cleaning by using Mars-tested technology. My automated, soundless vacuum system could wipe out the dirt, and silence the competition! I haven’t actually made one yet, but it’ll soon be up and running. I’ve heard the Beagle’s blueprints are on the internet somewhere. Of course, I’ll need upfront funding. $2 million should cover it.”

The Brains are loving it. They know what’s happening. This has got to be one of those crazy losers who’ll be filmed for the series’ outtakes. They all agree and sign the fake contracts that Craig passes them, just for the cameras.

Unfortunately, Craig may be eccentric, but his contracts are water-tight. With his fame and fortune, he’s hoping to pitch a new TV show, Craig Zee Like a Fox.

This is my contribution for Sunday Photo Fiction, February 2nd 2014, hosted by Al Forbes. Click here for more details.

To read the other stories, click the logo.